Epimedium ‘Sakura Maru’
‘You love us don’t you Teza? We’re beginning to think that there might be someone else! Someone more important, someone who is preoccupying your thoughts! We’re down here blooming our little hearts out and yet you walk…. oh! Teza! Is that really you? And look you have that big black telescope looking thing. Just a minute. Wait! Would you mind turning its lens to the right…. a wee bit more. And perfect!’
‘Papa! You remember us don’t you? The golden stars fallen from the heavens into your garden.’ [Those were his words, not ours, but if the shoe fits…..!]
‘Mr. T! I think I like that Deborah character, and her hair. Brilliantly fabulous! I’m the big guy in the Rare and Unusual Border, with my two hands across width foliage to shelter and shade some of the more ‘delicate’ siblings…… bloody pansies the whole lot of them!’
‘Our Father takes the best pictures, don’t you think, and contrary to what ‘Sakura’ said earlier, he really is the best Father in the world!’ [Sakura the suck, that’s what we call her when she isn’t looking or listening!]
‘Just in case you didn’t know, you’ve left the Upper West Side [the Rare and Unusual Border] and now youse in the Lower East Side [commonly referred to as the Shaded Walk!] Now don’t get me wrong, I love my peeps to death, but high maintenance…. where I tend to do nothing and look stunning, wouldn’t you agree? I love the look on visitor’s faces when T tells them I am a Lamium. TFF!
Teza has a thing for us Pollyanna’s! Have you seen the handsome young upstart over yonder on the Upper West Side? And here I thought my wine infused stems would bring him to his knees…. and I am sure they would have, had it not been for his righteous ‘Betberg’ with his near deep purple bruised foliage and those fabulously chartreuse pendulous bells….. Hells Bells! I think I’m in lust! We lower East-siders are sounding like a bunch is whiners aren’t we?’
Yeah, well I’m the one that’s gonna’ knock his socks and maybe even his knickers off when I attain my full height of 2m! Yeah, you read right buddy. Six glorious rigidly erect feet in the air….. Hey, get your minds out of the gutter! Sheesh! Just cause we’re born in the hood doesn’t mean we have to perpetuate the stereotype!
All I am going to say is when it comes to pleated skirts, those Catholic school girls have nothing on me! Now if I could keep those damnable slugs away from me! Teza has ringed the ground around me with copper mesh which seems to be doing the job….. Why is it so hard being beautiful?
I look as though I might be all prickly and mean but really I’m a big softie! My statuesque flower spikes have sharper points than I do! Speaking of prickly and mean…..
They just don’t get it! Fabulously chartreuse foliage, wine infused petioles, not to mention spectacular fruit in the fall all add up to instant star power! Don’t believe me? Why are you still staring at me with lust in your eyes?
The Lower East Side [The Shaded Walk]
Hey Teza! One last question. So what’s with the package from Terra Nova Nurseries? Is that your Garden Writer’s Sample Pack? And what’s with three different kinds of Echinacea. Don’t they know you’re the King of Shady Characters? Oh, sorry for letting the Coneheads out of the bag! Coneheads….. do you get it? I know! Name calling is impolite but really now…… I hope he doesn’t expect us to play nice to them all season long! Besides, they’re more than outnumbered and strength does come in numbers.